Part 3 will elaborate on the following:  7. Calibrate on behaviour, 8. The map is not the territory, 9. You are in charge of your mind

NLP Presuppositions Part 1 dealt with 1. Respecting the other person’s model of the world, 2. Behaviour is context dependent, 3. Decision-making must be ecological.

Part 2, was concerned with 4. Resistance in communication is a sign that there is lack of rapport between the protagonists, 5. People are not their behaviours, 6. everyone is doing the best they can given the resources they have at that time.

1.    Calibrate on Behaviour

Have you ever heard the expression: “Words are cheap?” I would go so far as to say, the written word can often be worthless.

Has someone ever written that they would do something, and to this day, you are waiting for it to happen?

I recently wrote an eBook and called for volunteers offering them a free copy so that in return for a testimonial.  Well, you guessed it, I’m still waiting on some.

That’s what ‘calibrate on behaviour’ means.  Assess what a person is all about by what their behaviour is, what they do, not what they say they will do.

2.    The Map is not the Territory

People’s perceptions of ‘reality’ are subjective, what they perceive is selective. 

We may perceive someone’s behaviour to be of a certain kind, yet someone else, may not see it that way at all.

I’m sure the following has happened to you.  You and another person had met someone.  You said that that particular person behaved in a certain manner, yet your companion didn’t agree.

We see and respond according to our selectively filtered ‘models of the world’.

Knowing this empowers us to be more ‘neutral’ in our judgment of people and their behaviour.

3.    You are in charge of your mind

No one, but no one can make you do anything you do not want to do.

No one can make you think anything you do not want to think.

Viktor Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” said:

“Everything can be taken from a man but …the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

YOU and only YOU are in charge of your thoughts and, therefore, your behaviour.

No one can control you unless you give them permission to do so.

A final quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.