The last posting dealt with the general concept of “Why build Rapport?”

With this posting we will start on the various tools that go into building rapport.

The first one is to have sensory acuity.

What does that mean?

If you prefer, listen to the 4.48 minute AUDIO.  I’ve actually added some to the audio as sensory acuity is such a fun topic

Sensory acuity has to do with your powers of observation.

Basically it means being sensitive to the fact that something you have just said or done has caused an internal shift in the person with whom you are communicating.

Now these internal changes which will manifest into external indicators are simply to alert you to the fact that something you said has caused a reaction.

It is not wise to give meaning to that reaction, just acknowledge that it has occurred, particularly when you are learning these tools.

At the beginning, you run the risk of reflecting your own hidden feelings of your own internal filters rather than actually assessing those of the person you are communicating with.

This could cause enormous problems, couldn’t it?

You think one thing, they think the opposite.

Sensory acuity is the first step to refining your communications skills with other people.

There are five unconscious ways of identifying these external indicators.

1.   The most common and easy to identify is a change in skin colour

The skin will change from its natural colour to darker and darker shades.

 You’ve often seen people go red or pink, that they are blushing; this is an example of a change in skin color.

2.  Then there can be a change in the skin tonus, that is, in its muscle tone.

The skin can go from not shiny to shinier depending on the degree of the internal shift.

3.  Another way of identifying internal changes is by noticing the change in a person’s breathing.

There are two aspects to this:

a)  A change in pace of the listener’s breathing. Has the pace of the person’s breathing increased and become faster?

b)  Has the location of the breathing moved from lower down in the abdomen to higher up the chest?

4.  There can also be a change in the size and appearance of the lower lip.

The lower lip may go from having minimal lines to increased lines.

This one is a bit harder to detect.

5. Also you can look into their eyes. There are two things to look for:

a)  Whether the eyes have gone from focused to unfocused

b)  Whether the pupils have go on from dilated to constricted

Just take one of these tools at a time and get familiar with the impact each can have on your sensory acuity skills.

Master one before you move on to another.

Try them out with some friends; it is a lot of fun; there’ll be a lot of laughing; that’s how I developed my skills

Next time we will move into tonality patterns.