The topics we have discussed so far in rapport building are:

1. Why build Rapport?
2. Sensory Acuity
3. Tonality Patterns

This posting will look at eye movement patterns, also called eye pattern movements, and will be divided into two Parts.

This is a very practical and immediate way of finding out whether the person you are communicating with is visual, auditory or kinesthetic in their preferred learning and communication style.

Click here for the 4.20 minute AUDIO
We all have a preferred way of learning and communicating, but we can also use any of the other styles on different occasions.

For example, I have done a variety of jobs, read an enormous amount of material, attended heaps of seminars and courses, travelled a lot, wrap all that up with my varied life experiences, and the score I always get when I do my survey of whether I am visual,  auditory or kinesthetic is, they are all equal.

That is, my score for visual, auditory and kinesthetic are the same.

There is a fourth one, auditory digital, but it doesn’t count as a preferred style (more on that later).

Despite the fact that my scores are equal in all three, visual, auditory and kinesthetic, my preferred one when it comes down to the crunch is visual, ie I have more visual characteristics than of the other two.

In a later posting you will do a written survey to identify your preferred learning and communication style.

As you cannot always give a person a written questionnaire to identify their preferred style, a quick visual assessment, such as looking for eye pattern movements is a good substitute.

When you are speaking to someone face-to-face you need to be able to make a quick assessment.

When speaking to someone on the telephone or over email, pepper your words and phrases with a mixture of all three.

Be alert for the type of language the other person is using to use more of their style.

Look at the movement of the eyes as you speak to them and even more importantly, when they respond to your questions.

Knowing their preferred style will mean that you can adjust the language you use so that you make them feel comfortable with you as though you are both on the same wavelength.

This is very important for quick rapport building.

Have a look at the image below.

You read it as though it is on your face like a mask to check yourself, and for assessing others use it as a mirror image.
 
I’ll stop this posting at this point to give you a chance to familiarize yourself with the directions of the visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital.

At this point, just focus on the following:

1. If you ask someone a question, and they look up before they answer you, they are going to the visual and domain.

2. If they move their eyes sideways, prior to answering, they are in the auditory domain.

3. If they look down in the direction opposite the heart (down to the right), they are looking in the kinesthetic area.

4. And then, the auditory digital area is looking down to their left.

Now these glances can be very quick and easy to miss at the beginning.

Just ask another question to validate your assumption.

Always listen to words they use as well.

More details in the next posting.